TV

Dear Jack,

No, I’m not dead, even though I haven’t written any letters in months. I’ve discovered a few things about myself, namely that my internet blogging time and energy occupies the same space as my work time and energy. Lately, I’ve had to use more of that space for work (which has been really good, thanks), and so no letters. I’ve also discovered that writing semi-snarky posts about my favorite TV show made me enjoy it a little less — like when I was watching it I was always thinking about what to write about it, rather than just watching it and enjoying it. You know what I mean? But I couldn’t let the end of the show pass without writing one more thing.

So, even though I am not dead, you are. That makes me sad, but was also very appropriate. But I’ll get to all that in a bit.

There are lots of people out there in internet-land who are complaining about the show not answering all the mysteries. They feel a bit (sometimes A LOT) disappointed with the show’s ending because of the lack of concrete answers. There’s more than a kernel of truth to that disappointment. Mysteries clearly were important to the show. They drove the plot forward. They exposed character flaws, strengths, and motivations. They kept us coming back so we’d see what happens next. They kept us talking about the show at work. They STILL keep us talking about the show even though it’s over. They are important.

I’m the kind of person that’s pretty comfortable with art remaining mysterious — who really wants to know what the Mona Lisa is slyly smiling at, anyway? I am also the kind of person who ascribes best intentions to artists and respects what they’ve given me, even if it’s not exactly what I’d want. To paraphrase Neil Gaiman: “George R.R. Martin is not my bitch.”

If you ask me, and I know you’re not, but if you ask me what I think would have made the show a little better for me (and, I think, a lot better for those people who are a lot more upset about the end than I am), I’ll tell you — one more episode.

This episode isn’t the finale or even part of it. It would have come earlier in season 6, maybe even at the beginning of the season, or maybe even earlier in season 5. The focus of the episode would have been answering the question of how much Jacob and the MIB had to do with all the other stuff that happened on the Island. It would have been similar to the episode where we see Jacob touching all the Candidates at key points in their lives. Scenes would have included Jacob bringing Dogen to the Island and telling him what he needed to do at the Temple, MIB/Jacob manipulating Dharma (either on or off the Island), something about the MIB and the cabin, some Dharma guy working with the Numbers at Jacobs prompting, the MIB talking to Whidmore as he’s about to get kicked off the Island, and maybe even Jacob talking to big Walt (and being very deliberate about NOT touching him) saying something like “I’m sorry I got you into this mess. You ARE special, but you didn’t need to be involved because you’re too young” — sort of like how Kate’s name was crossed off. That sounds very clunky, I know, but I am sure they could have found an artful way to take care of it. It wouldn’t have explicitly answered very much; Jacob doesn’t need to turn to the camera and say what the numbers are. But a little more insight into how their struggle has manifested itself over centuries would have raised the stakes a bit and given a few more answers, because fundamentally their struggle over the Island (whether to leave it, protect it, or destroy it) became the struggle that you and the rest of the castaways became embroiled in. Eventually, it became your struggle, and you sacrificed yourself for it.

That being said, I loved the end of the show, all of it. I liked your flying punch in the rain! I liked that Kate (who I grew to like again) saved you and shot Locke. “I saved a bullet for you!” Nice! I loved the little things — the shot of you and Locke looking down the waterfall, Mile’s line about duct tape, Richard’s gray hair, Hurley’s Star Wars references. I was very happy that Hurley became the new guardian of the Island and that Ben found some redemption by helping him. That was a nice bit of symmetry with Ben inadvertently helping the MIB for all those years and now he gets to help the real guardian. I love Ben!

I also liked the resolution to the flash-sideways timeline. I have no sympathy for the criticism that it made that entire part of the season worthless. The point of all that, just as I speculated the point of the Island was in the first place, was so people could work out what they needed to work out before Moving On. I grew to really be invested in these characters over the years and this provided a nice was to resolve that investment. It certainly made sense within the narrative of the show, as redemption was a theme we saw again and again (as was letting go). Perfect, I think, and at times very poignant. I got more than a little misty eyed at the Sawyer/Juliet scene.

I also appreciated the capstone to your character. You started off as a leader and a man who saved people and got things done. That eventually gave way to an almost obsessive drive to Save Everyone, even though they didn’t want saving or your methods proved harmful. Rose and Bernard were a nice commentary on this flawed aspect of your personality. Then, you left the Island, realized your mistake, drank a lot, came back, and was a passive workman for Dharma for a little while. It wasn’t until your rekindled obsession to Save Everyone directly got Juliet killed (and, admit it, you kinda liked her) you began to realize what you were doing was really hurting other people. At the end, you did what needed to be done, including letting go by handing off the mantle to Hurley. You did what you were good at, then let Hurley do what he is good at — taking care of people.

And, of course, they show ended the only way it could have, as it began. Your friends finally did get to leave the Island — free and clear. Vincent came to give you company. And we ended as we started, with that nice shot of your eye, closing in the end as it at opened at the beginning. I was sad to see you go.

I hope you tell all the folks who made the show how much I enjoyed it. I really think it was artful television.

Love,

me

Dear Kate,

This is the Last Straw. I am so over you. You and I are through, get it? No more! This is like that time my friends Rick, Rob, and Carl all wanted to go out to eat. We were all pretty set on going to PF Changs, but Rob kept hemming and hawing, talking about how they were too expensive and not authentic enough and on and on. We kept trying to be nice and asking him where he wanted to go, but he wasn’t happy with anything. We ended up having to get those burritos from 7-11 and regretted it for days; we should have just told Rob to suck it and gone to PF Changs.

(You are Rob, by the way, in case you didn’t get it).

Anyway, I thought this was going to be a better episode for you. In the flash sideways, you are pretty awesome. You stole a cab, almost ran over Arzt, and helped Claire (but where did you get the $200 to pay that mechanic guy?). It was weird to see Ethan at the hospital, but it kinda makes sense, since he was the one who was going to take Aaron on the Island anyway. It seems you/Claire/Aaron have some sort of mystical cross time connection. I was all right with all that stuff. Kate on the run is okay.

But Kate on the run to Sawyer is just OLD. “I can be very persuasive.” Seriously? How? By pouting some more. It’s this that made me just give up. Actually, it’s one specific moment. You know what moment I’m talking about. It’s the look on your face as you creep down the hall after you’ve seen Sawyer crying over Juliet in the bedroom. It’s the “well, crap. I guess he is really upset and really did love her and probably doesn’t care that much about me anymore.” It’s a look of such utter self-centeredness (or, to be more precise, having one’s self-centeredness disconfirmed) that made me throw up my hands in frustration. Like the book says, Kate, he’s just not that into you, especially WHEN THE WOMAN HE WAS GOING TO PROPOSE TO DIED LIKE 12 HOURS AGO! What did you expect to happen?! And then the crying on the dock — ugh. Props to Sawyer, though, he looked really upset.

Oh, and you missed all the crazy stuff at the Temple. Sayid may be a zombie, but he got tortured first. Dogan is trying to kill him or something, but the poison has to be given by Jack. Jack took the poison, then threw it up and drank some tea. I have no idea what’s going on there. Is Sayid the smoke monster now? How can Smoky be Locke and Sayid? If not, what’s Sayid “infected” by? This needs to get resolved somehow, soon.

Oh, and in your moping about after Sawyer, you missed who you said you were looking for — Claire. She now looks suspiciously like a certain Frenchwoman, and I don’t mean just because she hasn’t showered. She’s a crack shot, sets traps, and now has Jin. And she’s “infected”. Whatever that means.

So, look, the only way you could possibly redeem yourself would be to do something incredibly awesome — like maybe fall down a mineshaft and set off a hydrogen bomb with your dying breath to save everyone else. Oh yeah. That’s already happened.

Love,

me

Dear Jack,

What’s up, man? It’s been awhile. Sorry we haven’t talked. I’ve been good, you know. Working. Hanging out. Watching The Big Bang Theory. You should check that out — it’s pretty funny.

Seriously, though, man. WHAT. THE. HELL? You’ve been gone for a long time and then you show up and just confuse the hell out of me. I didn’t even know if I should send this letter to LA or to the Island! Are you still stuck there or did the bomb go off and avert (yeah, I learned that word in English class) the Incident? That’s the big question, right? Can you really be doing both at the same time? Or does “at the same time” even mean anything any more? I’m all twisted up, man!

Correct me if I’m wrong (you are a doctor, after all), but the plane is now bizarro-Lost. Hurley is the luckiest guy in the world. Charlie doesn’t die because you saved him (although he did say “I was supposed to die, man” which was pretty funny in a grim sort of way). Kate is still on the run and not annoying (yet). Sawyer is still a con-man. Locke is still in a wheelchair. But, wait. Desmond showed up and then disappeared. You had that strange wound on your neck. And your dad’s body didn’t make it to LA. What’s up with that? You were pretty calm about that whole thing, considering. I once saw this woman throw a water bottle at the airline counter person because our flight was delayed two hours by weather, and that was just a delay, not her dad’s dead body getting put on the flight to Singapore by some drunk baggage handler! Anyway, where was I?

Oh, yeah — some things are different and some are the same on the plane. Is that just supposed to show us what would have happened if it hadn’t crashed? Sawyer stays a con man, Kate kidnaps Claire, etc? Or will we see things kinda playing out in LA like they did on the Island?

Speaking of the Island, if I had to watch Juliet die one more time, I was going to get angry. First, there was the recap show. Then, there it was again with the “previously on Lost.” Then, there it was again at the beginning of the show. Then, there it was again (alternate version in Sawyer’s arms). It was kinda sad at first, but then just got annoying. And then Juliet told Miles “It worked”. What does that mean!? That you are really off the Island? Then why are you on the Island? SERIOUSLY! STOP IT!

At least we know that Smoke Monster is also the Nemesis/not-Locke. And that he’s pissed. And that he wants go “go back home” (maybe that’s off the Island?). And that he knows Judo because he totally dropped Richard in 3 seconds. Why you gotta go out like that, Richard? Well, we know that, but I guess you don’t because you are in some temple with Jesus-Sayid.

Yeah, Jesus-Sayid. Baptized. Died. Resurrected. And don’t think I didn’t notice the Jesus pose as they lifted him out of the water. I’m glad he’s not dead. Does that mean that Jacob’s power still exists, even though Jacob got all, well, killed? Those temple guys are sure scared of not-Locke, even the samurai dude. I hope they use that ash stuff better than the dude under the statue. What’s the point of a protective circle if the bad guy can just drop a rock on your head? Dude shold have cast some other spells, like maybe shield. What, you never played D&D when you were a kid, Jack? Oh, I see, I bet you were some jock. Probably a swimmer or something. Fine.

Anyway, I’m sorry if I sound mad. I was just so happy to see you again and then you go all double time line on me and I have no idea what’s happening. I really am glad you are back.

Love,

me

P.S. Hey, it’s Arzt and Boone! Good to see those guys. That Arzt is super annoying, though. I hope the timeline where he blows himself up with dynamite is the real one.

P.P.S. I totally think you should ditch this Kate obsession and get with Cindy. She’s hot and could get you lots of free flights, or protective ash, depending on the timeline).

Oh, you Lost producers! You try to thwart me by making a two part episode with multiple flashbacks! You think I cannot or will not write multiple letters? Well, you are right. But I am crafty. There is really only one person this week’s letter can be addressed to.

Dear Jacob,

What’s up man? It’s great to finally see you! I mean, I’ve heard so much about you. The people on the Island have been talking about you for three seasons. You might have been a myth, a legend — like that cool guy in high school who graduates a couple of years ahead of you, but comes back to town on his college breaks with awesome new music and cool college stories. He never hangs out with you, of course, but does pal around with friends of friends and all his coolness sort of trickles down to you when you hear about how awesome he is. Then that creepy older guy who sort of hangs around with your group of friends stabs him and sets him on fire. Well, that kinda sucks. Maybe we should just talk about that later.

Anyway, you seem like a really cool guy. You know what the coolest thing about you is? YOU LIVE UNDER THE FOUR TOED STATUE!!!!! That’s like living in the White House and on Park Avenue AT THE SAME TIME (which you could probably do because you don’t age and can teleport or something).

I also think it’s cool that you’ve been involved with the lives of the Lostaways for a long time. At some key moment in their lives, you were there. You saved little Kate from going to jail, helped Sawyer write his note, gave Jack a candy bar, stopped Sayid from getting hit by the car that killed Nadia (which was really sad, by the way), went to Sun and Jin’s wedding, woke Locke up from his fall, and picked Hurley up from jail. Does it matter that you gave each of them something? Lunchbox, pen, candy bar, guitar — wait, did you give Sayid or Locke anything? Does that matter?

Locke. Man, holy crap! So the whole back from the dead thing was a ruse? Locke is really dead, but the dude in the black pajamas assumed his form to manipulate Ben and the Others to kill you? Was he pretending to be Jacob the whole time for Locke? How deep does that ruse go? And don’t think I didn’t notice that, at the very beginning, you were wearing white and he was wearing black.

Are you really mad at Ben for stabbing and burning you? I can see why that would kinda bum you out, but the guy is pretty damaged. Dad issues and trust issues. Plus, he was clearly manipulated by not-Locke. I am sure you can appreciate the irony of the master manipulator being manipulated into killing you. Well, you could appreciate it if you weren’t dead. And why was Ben the loophole? Was it because he left and came back? Or was the loophole the fact that black pajama dude was Locke? I am sure that somehow all the time bouncing caused the loophole. Maybe we will learn The Rules at some point. That would clear things up.

At least you have friends. Ilana and those guys seem to be on your side. I think they, along with “Ricardo”, were people from The Black Rock.

Back to the other stuff. Clearly, you chose all those other Losties to help you out. I hope blowing up the Island in 1977 was somehow part of the plan. Was Juliet dying also part of the plan, because that kinda bummed me out. I liked her. She was vulnerable and badass and normal all at the same time. Still, I guess she felt she had no real place in the Sawyer-Jack-Kate triangle.

How long have we been waiting for Jack and Sawyer to kick the crap out of each other? Since, like, the second episode? What an awesome fight! Sawyer kicked Jack in the junk! OUCH! How cool was it when the rest of the Losties drove in like the cavalry to help Jack out!? Great fight — with the shooting and the super-magnetism and the crushing of Dr. Chang’s hand and Phil getting stabbed in the chest — not to get all geeked out here, but that would have been an excelled RPG fight! I bet one of the writers is a gamer.

One last thing you can help me out with — is Sayid dead? Seeing him get shot in the belly was a bit of a shock. Man, I hope he sticks around, because he’s pretty awesome.

Well, you are dead, which is a bummer. But it was really cool to finally see you in this episode, even though you brought up more questions than you answered. But that’s how the show works, right?

R.I.P. man,

Me

P.S. Great to see Rose and Bernard! Glad they are okay. As usual, they are the most sensible people on the Island.

P.P.S. Also cool to have Miles voice the “how do you know we’re not about to cause The Incident” question. Glad to know the writers are thinking about these things.

(I know this is a day late, but I took the day off yesterday to pick strawberries with my family and install a ceiling fan in my daughter’s room.  Priorites, you know?)

Dear Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse,

Thanks for having an episode with no flashbacks that not centered on one character.  You totally ruined my letter-writing, episode-recap shtick, which should be your primary concern.  Bastards.

Love,

Me

P.S.  If we don’t find out about the four-toed statue before the show ends I will hunt you down and make you sorry.

P.P.S.  Just kidding.

P.P.P.S.  Mostly.

Since the producers aren’t really catering to my Lost blogging, I am forced to experiment with a new format this week.  Let’s try Twitter-ish posts.  I say “Twitter-ish” because I am not actually going to count the characters of each.  Sue me.

Here we go!

@Eloise.  Must be a bummer to find out you shot your son in the back.  At least it makes knowing what to do in the future easier.

@Jack.  Getting whacked in the face by Whidmore looks like it hurt.  Surgeon, heal thyself!

@Sawyer.  Getting beaten by Razinsky looks like it hurt.  You can take it though!  I hope they don’t hit Juliet.

@Juliet.  Ouch. Sorry.  I guess I saw that coming.  You did get off the “we’re not bad people” line, though.
@Juliet.  And the look on your face is kinda heartbreaking.  A combo of “why can’t it ever work out for me” and “I knew this was going to happen”.

@Horace.  Umm, you need to reign your boy in.  I think you are loosing control over this situation.

@Sawyer.  Are you really drawing them a map?  I wonder if we see that in some other (past) episode.

@Kate.  Thanks for telling us Jack sounds like Locke.  Kinda obvious, but needed to be done.  Maybe you won’t suck this episode.

@Locke. You are creepy and awesome.  Way to make sure whatever happens, happens.  And ensure your death.

@Ben.  It must suck to be totally belittled by Locke.  Nice thrown in there about Richard being around for a long time.

@Richard.  Saw all of them die?  How?  In a hydrogen bomb explosion!?  More details, please!

@Hurley.  You really should have paid more attention in history class.  Still, you give the funniest line of the episode.
@Hurley.  “Um, alright.  We’re from the future.”  Heh.

@Miles.  Bet you wish you’d have had that beer with your dad now, huh?

@Kate.  Go back!?  WTF!?  You do suck.  I hope that redshirt guy does shoot . . .

@Redshirt.  YES!  YOU WIN LOST!  Oh, dammit.

@Sayid.  Man, you ruined everything.  It’s nice how Richard doesn’t hold any grudges, since you’ve killed about 23 of his guys.

@Richard.  How DID you get that bomb down there?  Quit being so enigmatic! We only have one season left!

@Sawyer.  Bet on the Cowboys.  Funny, but do you really think you’re getting off the Island?

@Juliet.  I am sure there were 42 or so times you could have killed Kate while you were an Other.  Feeling a little regret about missed opportinites now?

@Jack.  Okay, there’s your bomb.  Did you minor in nuclear engineering while at medical school?  “Now what” indeed!

@Locke.  Nice speech, buddy.  Are you trying to establish an Other democracy?
@Locke. “Shadowy, cabin dwelling apparitions, handing out cryptic mandates, are no basis for a legitimate system of goverment!”
@Locke.  Sorry.  Maybe you missed Monty Python will all the time travelling and stuff.  I thought it was funny.

@Richard.  A Locke problem?  Wait?  Whose side are you on?  And stop listening to Ben!

@Ben.  Here’s your jaw, man.  I think you dropped it in the sand back there.

@Locke.  Kill Jacob!?!  What?  Who?  Where?  Why?  I ahamdaiohfangh. . .

@Lost.  Nice cliffhanger, gentlemen.

30 May, 1977

Dear Dr. Faraday,

It is with sincere regret that the Physics Department at the University of Michigan deny your request for a faculty appointment and research space.  While we feel your work may have promise, there are certain inconsistencies within your application that raise serious questions.  Additionally, there are those at the University who feel your work is, at best, theoretical and, at worst, wholly fancy.  Furthermore, we feel you may need some psychiatric assistance due to persistent parent issues.

The largest anomaly within your application materials is dates.  You list you graduated from Oxford in 1994 and held a professorship there from 1995-1998.  While one date mistake could indicate a typographical error, this consistent pattern indicates misrepresentation on your part.  Given the nature of your work, this may have been an attempt at humor, but the faculty remind you of the serious nature of this application and thepossibility of academic misconduct.

One of your principle points in your request was your claim of a previous grant totalling over 150,000 British Pounds Sterling from Whidmore industries.  Again, the date issue exists with this grant, but there is another serious problem.  After some research into Whidmore Industries, we have uncovered some serious ethical complaints lodged against this company.  These include insider trading, improper use of human subjects, mistreatment ofindigenous populations, and involvement with paramilitary organizations.  Further research also revealed that Charles Whidmore, head of Whidmore Industries, may in fact be your father.  This would indicate nepotism; the University of Michigan cannot be party to a family operation masking itself as serious research.

As for the research itself, it does show promise.  Re-imagining Einstein in such a way as to make time travel for consciousness, but not matter, possible shows some original thinking.  You seem to indicate that this is factually, not theorectically, possible, which gives us pause.  Even if this were the case, it would take an electromagnetic power source of ridiculous proportions, equal to the power output of a hydrogen bomb!  Such sources do not, of course, exist on earth.  Nevertheless, your equations are sound and border on brilliant.  We wereespecially taken with the way you had named your variables and constants.  Using “Desmond” instead of the traditional constant “A” and “Jack,” “Kate,” “Sawyer,” etc as your variables may be unconventional, but illustrates a sense of humor.  Dr. Lawson also wished to point out an interesting possibility:  Much of your recent workinvolves trying to determine which of your inputs are Constants and which are Variables.  Dr. Lawson feels you may have overestimated the amount of variability.  You have a Variable known as “Dan” that may very well be a Constant, indicating that Dan cannot be the catalyst for the variability you suggest.  That doesn’t mean that Jack or Kate or Locke cannot be a Variable, however.

Finally, the committee does not want to overstep it’s bounds, but we would be remiss if we did not comment on your personal narrative.  It’s clear you have been pushedsignificantly by your mother, up to and possibly past the point of a mental break.  You mention your desire to “make her proud” and that this work is your “destiny.”  Your commitment to both your mother and your work is commendable, but we’re worried that you aren’t just setting yourself up for both professional and personal disappointment .  You are, no doubt, a gifted physicist — but your motivation must come from inside you, out of a desire for the work and for the betterment of mankind, not from a desire to please your mother.  If that’s all you’re working for, then significantdisappointment seems inevitable when your mother shoots you in the back, figuratively speaking.

Sincerely,

James D. Orstein, Chair
Department of Physics
The University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, MI

P.S.  Tell the writers of the show that this was a really weak 100th Episode.  No offense to you, of course.

(Note: This weeks letter inspired by a wonderful McSweeny’s post).

Dear Miles,

Um, hi.  You are kinda new here, right?  I mean, I have seen you around before — always kinda lurking in the background, being surly, giving sarcastic comments to Daniel or Charlotte or even Sawyer.  Before last night, the coolest thing you had done was banter with Hurley about Back to the Future and time travel.  I admit you are kinda cute and smolder almost as good as Sawyer, but I didn’t really know what was going on with you.  Last night you got your own episode, though, and it was pretty cool.  We got to learn some neat things about you and, holy crap, MORE STATUE PEOPLE!

But I’m getting ahead of myself.  Let’s talk about you some more.  You really can talk to dead people and you really are Chang/Candle/whatever his real name is’ son.  We’d kinda thought both of those things, but it’s nice to get confirmation about both.  You came to the Island not just for 1.6 million dollars (although that was a big reason, admit it), but for a chance to find out about your dad.  And, look, he’s not some crazy monster like your mom said; he was reading you polar bear stories!  That’s kinda funny given that polar bears are over at the Swan and your dad threatened to make Hurley clean up polar bear poop if he told anyone about the dead body.  You know, I’ve seen a trend here.  People are coming BACK to the Island for family reasons.  Ben came back to be judged for his daughter.  Kate came back to find Aaron’s real mom.  Jack came back to find his dad (even though he doesn’t know it yet).  Sun came back to find her husband.  Sayid does’t really fit there, but it’s still a good theory.  Anyway, you came back to find your dad.  That’s nice and shows there is more to you than money, speaking with the dead, and teen-age facial piercings.

Not only did you find your dad, but you also found out some things for us!  We know that Whidmore bought that plane and planted all those bodies in the ocean.  We got to see the bulding of the Hatch.  That was pretty cool.  Watching Hurley recite the numbers as the workmen stamped them into the Hatch sent a chill down my spine.  That was nicely done.  We still don’t know exactly what’s going on at the Orchid.  Why did they need a dead body?  Are they testing things out with the time travel-wheel?

You are a cool guy, but you may have gotten shafted a bit.  Your own story was almost overrshadowed by two things.  First, Dan shows up from the submarine?  Whoah!  And he says it’s been a long time since he’s seen you?  Did he dissappear when you guys got brought into Dharma and now has worked his way back to the Island?  What happened there?  The there are the Shadow of the Statue people.  That’s two episodes in a row we’ve heard that phrase, which seems to be some code for identifying members of some secret cult who know about the Island, hate Whidmore, and are fighting him every step of the way.  I’m down with that, but what’s their agenda?  Is Ben on their side?  Why is the statue so important to them?  I spent a lot of time worrying about that stuff instead of paying attention to you.  Don’t be mad, though, because I think you are kinda dreamy!  I hope we get to learn more about you in the future.  Or the past.  Um, you know what I mean.

Love,

Me

P.S.  I am glad you are becoming friends with Hurley.  Hurley’s awesome.  Go have a beer with your dad!  That was great.  And he’s writing the script to Empire!  That was pretty funny, but also the most unrealistic thing in the entire show to this date by far.  If Hurley is a true Star Wars fan (and he must be, since he saw Empire 200 times), he wouldn’t bother with rewriting Empire.  He’d instead try to fix the travesty that was Attack of the Clones.  But, I guess he thought that by fixing some of the stuff in Empire he could prevent the Ewoks in Jedi and then also prevent all the crap in the prequels.  Never mind, Hurley is still awesome.

P.P.S.  Can you tell some other people some stuff for me?  First, tell all of the 816ers they better get their bags packed, because it looks like the polar bear poop is about to hit the fan.  Second, ask Jack if he noticed all that stuff he was erasing was about Egypt!  I half-expected Jack to tell Roger about Ben, but was glad he didn’t.  I like new laid-back Jack.  Finally, tell Kate she sucks.  I really try with her, but she’s a horrible liar and almost screwed everything up by trying to make Roger feel better.  Is it part of her character that she messes everything up?